It was only a few moments ago...
I was huddled over my psychology book, precariously situated up-top the stool beside our kitchen island. My window reflected the same near-autumn view it has framed since this morning; all of dove-gray and charcoal. A few feet from me, the dishwasher gargled menacingly from its own little corner, loudly proclaiming the fulfillment of its duties as the backdrop for my studies.
Until suddenly, it stopped. Stopped, utterly and completely. I was left with nothing but the sound of... nothing. From a gurgling, muted sort of roar to absolutely nothing at all.
Nothing.
Nothingness.
Nothing.
I lifted my eyes and looked out the window at the gray sky swarming over the trees, heart beating amain as my ears waited breathlessly for the trumpet sound to pierce the utter silence. For surely, that was to come next...? The awful blast, the terrible rending of the sky and the furling of it as a curtain, and then our longing fulfilled; our stealing away into the deep, beautiful mystery that is all of God's splendor, to be secret to us no longer. No more the jeweled veil of the heavens to stand as a shield between us and the terrible beauty of the Almighty, as the glory of our rapture ushers us into His infinity... no more the aching of this world, no more the shadows; everything, everything swept away in the mighty gust of the Eternal's beckoning. All the echoes of eternity to erupt in splendor in the mere breath of one beautiful, awful moment.
A single moment of silence.
* * *
Had I held my breath until the trumpet blast, my heart would by now have stopped beating. It never came.
The house soon returned to sound, my heart to its sighing rhythm, and as soon as this is posted I shall return to studying for my Psychology exam. Yet, I find that I cannot do so quite the same. For in me is a heart within which beats something of eternity, that ever-aching thrum of longing, of tiredness, of yearning... of hope. Oh, the fluttering rhythm is always there: it never leaves, but it is so often lost beneath the mutterings of the Temporary Reality. Only when these mutterings are stilled may it again be noticed, standing out suddenly as a smattering of paint on a blank canvas or the plucking of a single harpstring. The moment of remembrance is pierced with an aching like nothing I have ever known, yet which is more familiar to me than anything, because I have always known it.
Yet nothing, not even the aching, can quell the bursting joy that slashes through the numb shadows of our temporal existence when we seize the knowledge of Reality. For the reason we long, the reason we ache, is because we are straining for something Real—a beauty beyond our tactile mirrors and smoke. It is the ardent longing for the truth of Eternity that is not only our sorrow, but our solace. What we long for will not be held away forever: it will come, in a bounding, leaping dawn of Jubilee.
A single moment of silence—may every moment be so full of eternity.
5 missives:
Dearest Sparrow,
You write so beautifully and so profoundly. It's like taking a spiritual holiday away from the crazyness and the pettynes and everything that clouds our view, spotting to read a blog post of yours. I miss you so much on TLC. I miss alot of people...
Well before I start going all sad and crying over my keyboard (I don't remember if it's spill proof, I don't think so...) I just wanted to leave this comment and say "I love you!" You always astound me with how close you seem to God, how far ahead of the rest of us....
Keep close to Jesus, you are a beautiful jewel of his spreading light (I'm sure) into all the lives you come in contact with. God bless you.
That single moment of silence, so full of eternity: Peace. My husband I have also experienced this. Going along doing the normal activities of our daily lives and then, an awareness of Stillness, seemingly unrelated to what we are doing. Precious for the surprise of it; encourages us that we have not been forgotten by Him Who watches our every step.
Just discovered your blog. I will be back. God has given you a gift for writing, like your brother.
This post blessed me. Thank you. I hope that you don't mind, but I would like to add you to my blogroll.
Oh, of course I don't mind! And thank you so much for your kind comment. We're kindred spirits, longing for eternity together, and it is encouraging not to be alone.
And now I know that my brother has a blog. We learn something new every day, we do... O.<
Oh dear, I hope that I did not cause any trouble. It did not occur to me that you didn't know your brother had a blog. I found the link to your blog on his blogroll and realized who you were. My most sincere apologies.
Oh, goodness, no! He doesn't mind at all, so please don't feel badly for mentioning it. He's just the sort who won't always bother to mention such things unless asked, and when I inquired he was happy to link me to his blog.
I am greatly encouraged by all of your comments. Thank you so much for stopping by as you do!
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