An Inescapable Collision

I am afraid of words.

I fear I will never overcome this strange affliction of language. It stifles my prayers. It confuses my thoughts. It takes what is beyond itself and attempts to compress it into a puzzle of vowels and consonants, meaningless scribbles on a page that is in the end just as blank as it was without writing. The strange syllables find their only relief in a lyricism all my own, yet when at last I mold them into vessels my feeble heart can grasp and understand, I find that the sense of what has been formed is lost to all but myself.

It makes me afraid. So, at last, when I can find nothing but meaninglessness in the chaotic void of structure and sound, I abandon it. Abandon words, abandon shapes, abandon this thing called language that tries ever to imprison what will always wither at the imposition of limitation. I hide away in the silence that keeps these blog-pages still and quiet, the silence whose echoes leave others to wonder if I still exist. A silence that is more beautiful to me than words have ever been. A silence that tells stories, and remembers why they matter.

A silence that sometimes, when it finds its stories very meaningful indeed, turns itself into music.


Category: 2 missives